Posts Tagged ‘rant’

You’d be so pretty if…

you smiled!

lost 20 pounds!

didn’t have that short hair!

or it wasn’t dyed purple!

didn’t have tattoos/piercings! Why would a girl as pretty as you DO that to yourself, anyways?

Maybe because it is MY body, not public freakin’ property, and I will do whatever the hell I please with it. Maybe because I don’t, actually, spend every waking moment concerned about whether my appearance is pleasing to a random stranger on the street. Or maybe I do it just to piss you off!

Reading a few blog posts got me thinking about this, and it’s something I’ve seen mentioned on Feministing before. Mostly in the “You’d be prettier if you smiled!” “Smile for me!” etc. comments that women have mentioned getting from strangers - which absolutely baffles me, as I’ve never received that (at least from a stranger, maybe from a relative…). Not that I don’t believe it, of course, it just seems…creepy. However, I have got (especially when working at Target - something about being a cashier makes a person especially open for public comment, apparently) the hair/tattoo questions a lottt. Of course, that was when I had fun hair…but anyways! It always really, really bothered me and I couldn’t figure out exactly why, so I just chalked it up to rudeness and moved on. It wasn’t until a few months ago when I read one of the posts on Feministing about it that I could put my finger on it - because my body is MINE and these comments assume that it exists for someone else.

I’ve even got comments like “What does your mother/boyfriend think about it?”. Mother? I moved out almost two years ago, and while I do love my mother to death and have a great deal of respect for her, I would like to think that she knows I’m an adult and will do what I want with my body. Matt? Holy hell, if Matt ever tried to tell me I wasn’t allowed to get any more tattoos or to dye my hair funky colors, the shit would hit the fan. The fact that someone would even ask that casually makes me a little sick to my stomach, because if he had that amount of control over me it would actually be an abusive, unhealthy relationship, thanks. No matter what anyone says or how they try to convince me otherwise. And if I tried to tell Matt how to dress or what to do with his hair, I would be a controlling bitch and he would be whipped. The standard, I’m seein’ double! That’s not to mention the “Why, none of the nice boys will want to date you now!” comment after seeing my first tattoo, which, if I’m remembering right, actually came from my (nice, but rabidly misguided) grandmother. Well, grandma, you’re right, now that my reason for existence is gone, I just don’t know what to do with myself.

Of course, I have several male friends who have or have had tattoos, piercings, dyed hair and mohawks, etc. and while they do get the general disgust and rudeness from ignorant people, I have NEVER heard anyone say anything like the above to them, or heard them complain of it. Mens’ bodies aren’t public property - womens’ are.

I think my favorite thing in the Jezebel comments was this:

If you’d like a guy’s opinion i’ll just throw it out there: (yes, we wimminz always need a man’s opinion before having a thought of our own, kthx)

Perhaps evaluate whether you believe these men know that they are flirting and doing so unwantedly. If they know this and continue to pester, it’s not bitchy to tell them they’re being offensive. If they don’t know the flirting is unwanted politely tell them your not interested. (Of course, it’s on us to tell them that the attention is unwanted, because it’s assumed that telling a random stranger what to do with her body is ok, or that women eating alone must want some male company, etc. That’s not, ya know, screwy or anything)

…blither blather…

Lastly, be careful of the slippery slope that is becoming cynical, be careful of becoming overly judgemental where you just start assuming all guys are perverts and jerks when they really aren’t doing anything at all. Also don’t make yourself believe that all eyes are on you when they really aren’t, a guy’s eyes move around a lot and take in the environment a lot. It’s a complicated mixed message for a man to know that woman appreciate a guy that is confident and not afraid to approach a women, (especially if that woman is presenting herself in a manner that makes her appear inviting to interact with) but that when he does work up the nerve to do this he may be making her uncomfortable and in turn make himself feel embarrassed when he’s already very nervous.

Summary: it is YOUR fault if a man approaches you and makes you feel uncomfortable! Jeez, don’t assume they’re leering at you! And gods forbid, definitely don’t “present yourself in a manner that makes you appear inviting to interact with”, because then you definitely deserve the attention. And that manner is what exactly? What I’m wearing? My makeup? Oh I forget, women only think of their appearance in terms of looking good for other people. I can’t get dressed up for myself, because then it’s assumed that I’m dressing for men, and it’s automatically okay for them to hit on me. So I guess once I’m married I’ll…what…wear a burlap sack all the time?

I have just about ranted myself out here, but I will also say that this? Totally. Screwed. Up. The fact that the first movie about a shooting where several (14 I think?) women were killed simply for being a woman, is filmed to show things through a male perspective? Um. WHAT?! Yes, we totally need that, just like we need a movie about the Holocaust from the point of view of a Catholic, that makes sense doesn’t it?

Despite my complete inability to keep up with most net-based shows, no matter how badass (Everyday Hardcore, I’m looking at you!) this video alone makes me want to start watching this show.

This post brought to you at 1:15 (and counting) in the morning because I accidentally took a 2-3 hour nap in the middle of the afternoon. And now I can’t sleep. Argh.

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I really, really…

wanted to like this commercial for MAC for Hello Kitty. And expected to! But I’m sorry, a grown woman (I *think* she’s grown, although, of course, really skinny) wearing that dress is just…disturbing.

I think that’s what people think of when they think of Lolita fashion, and it understandably skeeves them out. (am I the only one who uses that phrase? Matt insist so…) Poofy knee length skirts, I have no problem with. Poofy skirts that stop right below the ass…well…ew. Yuck yuck yuck. Not to mention that with the poofy skirt stopping right where her legs begin + super-high heels, combined with the way she was walking, brings to mind a spider.

On a happier note…Russian dancers! with Run DMC!

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Daily Outfit and such

Gah. Today was frustrating, to say the least. I signed up for online bill pay last week and sent in my electric payment last Friday, or so I thought. It was supposed to come out last Friday and didn’t come out, I didn’t think anything of it though, until I got a shut-off notice yesterday. So I go online and look and I had entered the wrong account number, the number I entered isn’t even a valid account number. I change the account number and schedule a payment to come out today. Andddd then this morning I looked at my online banking and saw that I had TWO payments of $88.98 coming out of my account. The payment from last Friday came out as a check to Empire that had already been cashed. I called Empire and they told me to call my bank because they couldn’t do anything about it, the first payment did NOT get posted to my account, by the way. I called my bank, they told me to call a 1-800 number, which I did, the guy there was patronizing and told me to call Empire. I called Empire again, and the lady there talked to me like I was a fucking idiot and was like “No, you don’t understand, this check didn’t get cashed” - I beg to differ lady, and so does my bank account balance! trust me, it got cashed. I hung up on her because I got so annoyed, calmed down, and brought in a copy of the check to the Empire office, where she told me that the first payment hadn’t entered into their systems yet and wouldn’t until Monday or Tuesday, BUT since they already had the money, they can’t give me a refund, just credit my account. Which is totally awesome because I love having $90 taken out of my account right after I get paid, when I was planning on using that for oh I don’t know, Christmas presents among other things. GRRRRRRR. So I spent my day off all worked up until noon or so when I got all this worked out and then came home exhausted from it all and fell asleep, had nightmares, and had a headache most of the rest of the night. Awesome, right?

There is some good news though - today at work I found out that the shift change request forms we all had to fill out will go into effect NEXT WEEK. Which means that I might have next Saturday and Sunday off! And weekends off hereafter! If I do get weekends off like I requested, I’ll have to work my normal days off (Thursday and Friday), which most people would consider a bad thing…but for me, notsomuch, as it gives me a means to make up the day I missed last week and get some overtime in! My next check should be super-nice - let’s just say, if my math is right (and all of this happens like I want it to *crosses fingers*) I should have enough money to pay the bills that need paid, put a decent chunk towards my credit card payment, get those shoes, and have some money left to put in the tattoo fund. HELL. YES.

But anyways! Off of my boring life things. This is what I wore yesterday:

without coat

with coat!

tripp nyc skinny jeans, clash shirt from HT as is haircip, Sofft Gillian shoes, bracelet by Tryst by Kerry, bangles from steve and barry, studded belt from wet seal, secondhand coat.

My outfit today is exceedingly boring (I am lazy in the morning.), tomorrow’s should be better and there will probably be pictures of it. My makeup this morning turn out pretty well though and I got several compliments on it so I snapped a picture when I got home from work. Unfortunately, the colors don’t look near as bright in person so I’m not posting that picture, haha. And now I’m off to Jo-Ann’s for fabric and feathers. I hope everyone else had a better Friday than I did!

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More Shoes

Do I have a problem? Very possibly…

I’ve been craving leopard print lately if you can’t tell. The first one I probably wouldn’t wear but I’d like to buy the second one at some point.

I really like these…

but they’re $245, which is a bit much. So I started looking for something similar that was a little closer to my price range… (even though it’s the middle of winter and strappy stilettos are NOT the most practical thing to own now)

I also found these…

Don’t know if they ship to the US though.

And some truly hideous wingtip-inspired peep-toe brown-on-brown wedges I saw online made me want to find some wingtip-inspired heels that weren’t hideous. Here’s what I got:

Also, I’m pretty psyched because Trashy Diva has some dresses on super-sale…I might get my retro style LBD after all! sahweet.

For some reason, I’ve decided I want to try hat-making, even though I haven’t even sewn anything (except for the broken purse strap) in two weeks. We were watching Leatherheads and the cloches Renee Zellweger’s character wore throughout the movie were absolutely divine.

And on a totally un-fashion-related note, I am kind of annoyed at Planned Parenthood right now. When I went in to get birth control in the first place, I told them that I needed something that would help with cramps. Because seriously folks, I have killer cramps from the ninth level of hell. They told me the pill they were putting me on would help, and that if it didn’t, I’d be able to switch to a different pill no problem. Well, it doesn’t help. I mean, it helps, but in a takes-the-edge off kind of way, not in a happy cramp-free sort of way. So I tell them that about a month or so ago when I went to pick up a new pack, and NOW they say that if I want to change pills I have to schedule a consultation, which is $40, first. The pill packs are already $27 apiece. I was just planning on going straight from pack to pack without taking the placebo pills until I got insurance and then going to the doctor and getting something that would actually help with cramps, but as it turns out, you can only sign up for benefits and insurance once a year and that’s in December. I won’t have been there for 90 days until late January-ish. SO I won’t have insurance until Matt and I get married in May. GRRRRR. Anyways, I totally lost track of the reason I’m currently annoyed, which is because they were closed on black Friday when I went by to get another pack, which means that I couldn’t skip my placebo pills this month, which means I’m in for three hellish days in the next week. lame. as. hell.

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Black Friday Finds

First off, I think it’s absolutely disgusting what happened at the Long Island Wal-Mart. I know I joked about the evils of Black Friday yesterday but seriously? If you walk on someone on your way in the store and don’t stop to help them up because of the fear you might not get the sale items you want? I think everyone who stepped on him and didn’t help him up should be charged with manslaughter, unfortunately, there’s no way to know who did and who didn’t.

Anyways, we didn’t hit the mall until nearly nine. I got a pair of bracelets (from Steve and Barry’s, I think by Bitten), a cashmere/cotton blend sweater at Pac Sun ($13 - originally $40 - helllllll yeah!), a faux-leather bomber-type jacket ($16 on clearance), and a clearance t-shirt and set of hair clips at HT. Not a lot, but it turns out I’m a rather discerning shopper. Who would have guessed? ;) And now, some pictures:

the bracelets…I like them because I thought they looked like bones. not sure if they’re supposed to though.

the clearance hair clips - marked down because there were some stolen. I probably won’t be wearing the blue for a while for obvious reasons but I’m wearing the green and purple right now.

the sweater. so soft!

jacket and t-shirt. Alicia told me it looked like a biker jacket, but in a good way. and Matt said that shirt looked like the Punisher shirt but in leopard print. Raspberries to both of them! pbbthhh!

My fingernails are painted for the first time in FOREVER - Black Diamond by Sally Hansen. It looks like a super glittery iridescent black in the bottle and goes on a little less glittery, which is disappointing. I put it on Sunday and it didn’t start chipping until today though, which is better than I’ve had most nail polishes fare. I tend to be a bit rough on the nails. I really like having them painted though, I might stock up on nail colors I like and change it once a week, that’s low enough maintenance for me.

I got the Sofft shoes today. ARGH I was so frustrated because when I called, they told me that 7.5 wasn’t available (in wide or normal sizes - they’re almost completely out of normal width in black patent, so I ordered wide, which is fine as far as I can tell) so I ordered an 8. Well, the eight is WAY too big on me. Even with a ball-of-foot insole it’s too big. I looked online and tada, the 7.5 wide IS available. I had called and talked to a rep as soon as I realized they didn’t fit, and was told that I could just go through the return process (since I already exchanged once, I can’t exchange again), get store credit, and immediately buy the other size, since there’s only two left. I go to do that and never got the option for store credit, so I call again. This time I’m told that since I already exchanged once, I’m just going to have to return it and wait for it to be credited to my account (which, like I said yesterday, I was told could take up to two weeks). I got a little annoyed and the rep hastily added that he could just do one more exchange. I don’t know if this is just bad luck, because I’ve heard RAVES about Zappo’s customer service everywhere, but jeez. For one, two weeks for money to get credit is absolutely ridiculous. I’ve worked retail for three years now and never heard of it taking that long, online or off. What’s more is that if I exchanged instead of returned, the extra money was processed immediately and I was told it should be in my account in 2-3 business days, which says to me that, again, there’s no reason it should take two weeks for money to get credited. And the only reason I had to exchange it again was because I was told my size wasn’t available, when it was! Sheesh.

I also got the Hard Candy order too. Apparently I ordered two lipglosses, I’ll just stick one in Ashley’s presents. I’m liking it so far, although the eyeshadows go on a LOT lighter than they appear on the palette and require a lot of building to get them beyond a sheer pastel. Example:

This is Snow Cone in the eye shadows, with a Jane turquoise eyeshadow on the crease and outer edge. It probably took 2-3 minutes straight of putting eyeshadow on each eye to get it to THAT level. It is a pretty color though - just not as bright as I’d hoped.

And now I have all kinds of fun stuff to do - drop the shoes off at UPS, drop overdue rented movies off and maybe rent some more, and do laundry. Hope everyone else had a great Thanksgiving and Black Friday!!

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GRR.

If you do not want to read anything political, avert your eyes now.

For some reason I just found out about this case, which happened two years ago. When reading some of the comments on the “You Don’t Have to be Pretty” post, linked yesterday, I found it in a roundabout way. Quick exerpt:

THE devastated father of a teenage girl shown degraded and sexually abused on a DVD vows to hunt down those responsible.

The film shows up to 12 youths from the outer western suburb of Werribee attacking the girl, said to be intellectually impaired.

It shows members of the group urinating on the girl, setting fire to her hair and shows her performing lurid acts on the boys.

DVD copies of the video have been sold in schools in Melbourne’s west for $5.

So, I thought, well, at least since it was two years ago I can read about them being sentenced and probably have a small sense of justice. Um. Actually, no.

Six of the teenagers who played the most active roles in the attack were sentenced to 12-month and 18-month youth supervision orders.

The order requires them to report for up to six hours a week to a youth justice worker, who will counsel them and, in some cases, order them to perform community work.

Two of the teenagers who played lesser roles were sentenced to a probation order for 12 months, which requires them to report weekly to a youth justice worker.

The court heard the three teens who pleaded guilty yesterday had been persecuted for their involvement and were truly remorseful. They will be sentenced on February 12.

Wow! You mean they got a whole YEAR AND A HALF of six hours a week counselling and maybe community service?! That is the punishment for raping a disabled girl ON CAMERA?! Shit, an acquaintance got six months relatively strict parole for shoplifting a $10 necklace.

It makes me so fucking sick. I can’t even express words without resorting to swearing every other one, but I’m going to try. This…sick obsession with not punishing rapists/sexual assaulters enough doesn’t even get recognized most of the time. I was incredibly annoyed in training at work because a coworker said something about there being a lot of “lying girls” out there and that “all a girl has to do is cry rape and the guy goes down”. Um. Fuckno. Even in cases where it should be relatively cut and dried, like oh I don’t know, a videotaped gang rape, it took three years to go to trial and then the rapist (one of them, anyways, and the easiest to find information about) got let off after only serving 2-3 years of his six year sentence. Six years for gang-raping a girl (when there was PROOF). As far as I’m concerned, it should be at least a ten year mandatory sentence. There were other factors in that case, of course. I’m sure if it had been poor teens of color that weren’t related to policemen they would have been sentenced like that *snaps fingers*. Hell, it’s possible to get 11 years for threatening someone with a weapon.

I’m just sick of it. I’m sick of being told constantly that we, as women, need to be conventionally “pretty” even if it costs untold amounts of money and our health. I’m sick of being told that my body, that I, am not worth anything and having the gut-wrenching knowledge that if I was raped by a stranger, he would probably never be caught, while police (at least around here) go out of their way to catch some poor dude selling pot to make some extra money. If I was raped by someone I know and attempted to bring them to trial, I would be dragged through the mud as a slut, a whore, corrupting poor innocent men and leading them on, and someone who was asking for it. And if, after Matt and I got married, he raped me (which, shockingly enough, is possible as being married to someone does not make you their property), I would not even be able to press charges in the state of Missouri.

Someone in my family was raped at one point. She was out drinking with a guy friend and one of his friends. Her friend passed out, and his friend started beating her and trying to get her to have sex with him. She withheld until he started threatening her daughter, she finally consented, and then went to the police the next morning. They told her that she could not press charges for rape, that she had to stick with assault and battery. And the incredibly fucked up thing is that he would probably be incarcerated longer for assault and battery than raping a drunk woman anyways, because if she was drunk and out with members of the opposite sex, she obviously wanted it to happen.

Out of my close friends and my family, I know five women who have been raped or sexually assaulted. How fucked up is that? Seriously?

I don’t even know where I’m going with this. Realistically, nowhere. I have nothing new to say that hasn’t already been said by people far more eloquent than I. But it makes me so, so depressed and infuriated to read about these things. When is the assault on us and our bodies going to stop?

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More Like Guidelines

So, as many of you may have gathered, I don’t really give a rat’s ass about fashion “rules”. I think they blow hard and that half of the time, the statements that are given as hard and fast rules are over-broad generalizations at best. I’ve seen every rule out there be broken and the person wearing the rule breaking outfit look hot doing so.

I think some of this comes from the fact that different people view fashion with very different objectives. Some people view it as purely a means to an end, constructing outfits with no other means but to make their bodies look “good” (usually, but not always, meaning: fitting in to society’s uber-skinny and unrealistic ideals). Others view it purely as art, others (me) view it as a form of personal expression. Others view it as a status symbol - i.e. “Look at me, I can afford designer clothing! I’m so awesome!”/ “Look at me! I can read a magazine and copy every trend from it in a desperate attempt to look cool! I’m so awesome!”.

side note: I have no problem with incorporating a trend into your style every now and then. I love skinny jeans and ankle boots as you may have gathered. Granted, I would like them whether they were trendy or not, but anyways. To me, someone who is wearing every “of the moment” item they can, all crammed into one outfit, just looks ridiculous. But as mentioned, everyone has their personal goals when it comes to getting dressed in the morning, and trendsetting/being trendy is obviously not mine. So I digress.

Anyways, that’s my theory on where the “rules” come from. It is widely assumed that everyone is dressing with either the intention to a. look as thin as possible, or b. be as trendy as possible.

Take me, for example. I am not tall and willowy. I am 5′1″ish and around 130 pounds (which, by the way, puts me very close to overweight as far as the BMI scale is concerned. kind of sad, huh?). I wear a five or a six or a seven in jeans, depending on the brand. Of course, according to the dELiAs size chart (which I know is not the best example, as from what I can gather it’s marketed towards 16ish year olds, but as I’ve bought clothing there before it was the first thing that came to mind), I’m a size 11/12, mostly due to my bust size. I have a definite hourglass figure as well.

I’m not posting all of that just for the sake of sharing personal information over the internet. I’m just saying, I am not the fashion industry’s ideal by any means. I have a pretty big ass for someone my size. and yet I wear skinny jeans constantly, without trying to cover it up. Why? Because I don’t CARE if my hips or my ass look big, as long as I’m wearing what I want. So that’s why you’ll see me wearing mid-calf boots, even if it supposedly makes my legs look fat. And skinny jeans, even if they supposedly make my hips and butt and thighs look huge. Because for the most part, I hate flared or boot-cut jeans, feel like they make me look shorter, and don’t feel like they fit in with the aesthetic/look I’m trying to achieve. Horizontal stripes, too - LOVE them, even if they make me look wider. I wear what I want and damn the fashion rules, and I wish more women/girls would do the same.

While in training at work, I was sitting next to a coworker/friend and we were flipping through a fashion magazine. I pointed at a pair of skinny jeans in a spread and said “ooh those are cute!”. She responded with “I HATE skinny jeans!”. When I asked her why, she recanted a little, and said that she doesn’t actually hate skinny jeans, but doesn’t think her legs are “good enough” (yes, her exact words) to wear them. Her thighs are too big, she said. This girl is probably six inches taller than me and maybe weighs 15 pounds more. She wants to wear something but won’t, because she’s been told that skinny jeans are for stick figures and nobody else.

Aside from my whole “wear what you want and damn the man” issue with fashion “rules”, there’s also the fact that most of them are geared towards making people look skinnier. Which is of course a common phenomenon and to be expected in our weight-obsessed culture, I guess, but annoys me nonetheless. Wearing horizontal stripes will make you look wider, yes. Is looking, seriously, like an inch wider THAT bad? Is it so heinous that it’s worth avoiding horizontal stripes at every cost, even if you really like that top or dress? I love my engineer style boots to death and they make me feel uber-badass and I will never stop wearing them. And hopefully, that ridiculous exuberance for them shines through when I wear them, and when someone sees me they think “She is rocking those shoes!” as opposed to “Oh my. Those are mid-calf boots and thus TERRIBLY unflattering. Someone call the fashion popos!”. Granted, around here, people are more likely to think “Holy shit, what color is her hair and how did she get it that way?!” but that’s rather beside the point.

In case you’re wondering what spurred this, I was reading the Feministing archives and came across a post which referred to street fashion blogs as an Unfeminist Guilty Pleasure. Which I disagree with, but more on that in a second. Anyways, the Sartorialist was mentioned, this post in particular. The post REALLY grated on me. Can you say, get off your high horse, mofo? As one commenter said, “Gosh, I hope one day you’ll spot me in a shop so I (and everyone that reads the site) can hear how you think everything about me is wrong. Such a lucky girl.”. And the outfit of the girl in question isn’t bad at all IMO. A little bland but seriously - give her a couple of silver bracelets (charm style, not bangles) and a waist-cinching belt and I think it’d be an awesome outfit. But no, the boots are wrong, this is wrong, that is wrong, blah blah blah. Instead, let’s dress her up in J.Crew and the GAP! Which he refers to as “reasonably priced”. Yes, $100 for a pair of knit pants is reasonably priced. That post exemplifies a lot of the things I hate about most fashion blogs - just because YOU can drop $100 on a pair of pants doesn’t mean everyone can, OR that that is affordable. Seriously, I redid most of my wardrobe my whole wardrobe (clothing wise, anyways, it’d be a bit difficult to fit shoes in this budget) for marginally over $200 According to his standards of inexpensive clothing, I’d have two pairs of pants. Awesome. I also found it kind of funny that those boots are apparently a heinous crime against All That Is Fashion but currently on his front page is a woman wearing sweats with a black jacket over it. Riiiiight.

Erm, back to the other off-original-topic topic, re: fashion being un-feminist. As one commenter, citymaking, stated - “Everything is fashion. What people wear a major venue of cultural development and communication that no one can escape and that can be both a site of empowerment and disempowerment - but usually the latter is related to economic injustice, and not to fashion itself per se. Fashion is a major form of cultural communication that I personally find to be a really important tool in not becoming invisible or my identity taken for granted.” And another commenter, wax_ghost, replied with “It reminds me that we should remember that the supposed superficiality of fashion is intricately connected to the historical tendency to consider most things associated with women unimportant and superficial.”.

Those two comments do a REALLY good job of summing up how I feel about a lot of issues related to fashion.

But! to get back on topic and wrap up the post. Wear what you want, people, and wear it with confidence! It doesn’t matter if it has horizontal stripes and you’re plus sized, if you love it, then rock it, and screw the rules! You have it in you, even if you don’t think you do. I promise.

Related links to read and love

How to Be Confident at iCiNG

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Well, I did it.

Called into the school today and talked to Sharon, and all I have to do is come in tomorrow and sign some papers and it’s final. That’s a huge load of stress of my shoulders. Although I still have to pay for the color that gave me a chemical burn and has already faded 2-3 shades lighter than it started out (and this is permanent color! seriously, I’ve got semipermanent stuff that works better than this!) but whatever.

I think I found the two other long sleeved shirts for my shopping list, at the Victoria’s Secret website of all places. This one for sure, and either this one or this one (probably the first, after looking at the second again, it’s a bit too long for my taste). In black, of course. I’ll probably order a large in both to match my bust measurements (side note: I find it a bit ridiculous that I’m a large in VS sizes) and because I HATE super-clingy sleeves that are tight all the way down to my wrists - one of the reasons I avoid wearing long sleeved shirts very often actually. I also think that I can probably just get one skirt and one dress, as I still am planning on making that skirt to sew the t-shirt design on, and I’m also making my Halloween costume which will involve a dress, so I can probably cut the skirt off the dress and wear it or just wear the dress itself. The b/w striped sweater I’ll probably just buy off the Wet Seal website so I can get the exact one I found on Polyvore, as it’s  my favorite I’ve seen. It’s proving to be really hard not to plan everything out before getting some money and leaving spontaneity in the shopping, as you can see! I might just limit myself to accessories and makeup when we go shopping. I def. need a waist belt, I was going to make that obi belt but changed my mind because I’m too afraid of doing it wrong, I think the leather is probably far too light for it. I’ve seen one very similar to what I want on UrbanOutfitters.com but it only comes in brown. LAME.

So I’ve been trawling the internet for blog posts and articles on finding and developing a personal style (post coming soon, don’t worry), and stumbled across this little gem. The whole premise of that post was that the blogger found some other blogger’s post about fashion “rules” and took issue with several of them (rightly so, I might add). However, what really pissed me off was this (the bolded part is the fashion “rule” from the other blogger) :

“If you wear anything larger than a size 6, then skinny jeans are not for you.”

I agree in one context, and disagree in all others. If your plan is to wear a shirt tucked into said skinny jeans and you’re not thin… that’s a bad thing. However, if you’re above a size six and want to partake of this trend, you can. Don’t listen to this person. They know not what they speak of. I think of skinny jeans as neutral leggings. You can wear them under a tunic, a dress, a big sweater, etc. Any of these items will work well since the modified shapes that the eighties revival have brought us are still in full effect. Whereas I don’t want to see big girls in tight pants, I have no problem seeing big girls in a sweet short sundress with skinny jeans and a pair of wedges below. Sheesh.

Okay. In the first sentence, the blogger just comes right out and says (or VERY heavily implies) that anyone over a size six is “not thin”. WTF mate - a size six is pretty skinny for the majority of the population. I’m a six, most of the time, but I’m also like, five one, which has to be taken into consideration here. I mean, I’m not calling myself fat by any means, but I’m sure not a stick figure either, hah. Anyways. My second large issue with this excerpt is in the second to last sentence (or, I suppose, last full sentence) - “I don’t want to see big girls in tight pants”.

Well, gee, excuse me, but I’m pretty sure they didn’t fucking ASK you if you wanted to see them in any damn thing they wore. They don’t need your fucking permission. You took one idiotic rule and replaced it with another. Have you seen Beth Ditto in half of the things she wears? She breaks all the “fat girl” rules and looks SMOKIN’ doing so. Jesus.

Anyways, outfit for the day:

(this is so crooked it kind of makes me dizzy! damn self-timing camera tilting all by itself…)

Boots: eBay

Shirt: by GAP, thrifted

Belt: from Hot Topic

Skirt: Target, severely modified

coat: dad’s army jacket passed down to me (i.e. stolen from his closet a few years ago)

I know, kind of blah. I was going to wear a checkered bandana as a headband but no matter how I tried adjusting it it was too wide and made me look like that landlady from Three’s Company. and then it made my hair all flat. grr.

and now it’s off to work. toodle pip!

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no picture today

Because I feel like CRAP and don’t want to think about what clothes I’m wearing and will probably end up wearing the exact same thing I wore last Monday. I don’t know what the deal is, if it’s because I didn’t get enough sleep last night and ended up sleeping from 9:30 or 10 (I had been laying in bed since about eight thirty, but I’m actually a huge dork and read the wikipedia overview of the grudge yesterday and kept imagining something coming to kill me under the covers so I had a hard time falling back asleep.) to one off and on or what but I’m headachey, nauseous, feel slightly feverish, just generally shitty. I’m seriously considering telling Sharon I want to go on a leave of absence until training is over (which is ya know, like a week and a half, so it wouldn’t be THAT long). I’m prone enough to getting really sick once every winter without lacking sleep, which not only tends to lower my immune system but also fucks with my blood sugar. I’m sure it’d piss her off though and I’m not sure if she’d let me do it. Half of me just wants to say “fuck it” and put my hours on hold now instead of waiting until the end of the year. I still haven’t explained that whole thing to my parents, I’m not looking forward to it - I’m sure I’ll get a lecture about how I’m a huge flake and a quitter and rawrawrawr but it makes sense, without both of us working full time there is no WAY we’ll be able to afford getting married and moving, especially so close to each other, not to mention that if I stayed in school I would end up getting my license RIGHT before moving, so I would end up trying to get a job straight out of school in a city where nobody knew anything about the school I came from. There’s also the fact that when I decided to re-enroll, Matt and I would be married, and thus I wouldn’t be a dependent any more, and would be able to get financial aid, instead of ending up with quite so many thousands of dollars in student loans to pay back.

On a lighter (kind of…) note, I was hearing some funny noises in the kitchen earlier today and walked in there to see Giles playing with something. I went to say something along the lines of “Giles, what the hell are you doing?!” which he is used to hearing from me, along with such affectionate phrases as “DAMMIT CAT” and “you little shit!” ahem. But I stopped midsentence because he was playing with quite possibly the biggest damn wolf spider I’ve ever seen.

(the best picture I could get, Giles wouldn’t stop batting the damn thing about)

I’m not squeamish about spiders, I grew up in a house where my dad told me to let the wolf spiders be because they ate the brown recluses (which I’ve been able to recognize since maybe 10 years old, oh living in the country is fun). But dear GOD this thing EFFING. HUGE. After Giles accidentally stepped on it and crushed the last bit of life out of it, I swept it up into a dustpan to flush down the toilet and took another picture.

It doesn’t look that big here but seriously. It was enormous.

Also I would just like to say that whatever god/dess gave me my shoe taste was a cruel one, as the first pair of shoes I’ve seen that I thought “I GUESS that could be a suitable alternative to the Bronx boots if I can’t find them” is this one. Which as you can see is nearly $300. Again, I know Frye is good stuff and all that jazz but I’m not sure if I can justify that one to myself. heh. There’s also these, which could easily be toughened up a little with a skinny studded strap wrapped around the ankle a few times. And are much more affordable. I’m still going to keep hunting for the Bronx boots though!

Oh awesome. My phone appears to be not working as well. Any time I try to make a call it just hangs up in my ear. GREAT!

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oy.

Days like this are almost humorous. I went to go to the hospital (where my dad works) to pick up the insurance card so that I could go to the express care clinic, and it was barely sprinkling off and on outside. So I slipped on a pair of flats and put on a light hoodie. Shit you not, as soon as I got in my car it started POURING. I went to the clinic and they said I have a chemical burn, here’s a script for some ointment, yada yada yada. Long story short, I ended up soaked (flats? not a good thing to wear when you have to walk through 6-inch deep puddles) but back here, and now I am eating a snack and then taking a nap because that is really all you can do. Especially since I have dishes to do when I wake up. Yuck!

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